but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
