I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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