No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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