I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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