I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
