I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
