Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
