Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
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Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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