Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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