i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
