He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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