Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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