kristin has been a bad kristin
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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