can we get nightvision for the apartment?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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