is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Come see our sink grown plant.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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