Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
