Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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