went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
