her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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