Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
