yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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