What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
