i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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