you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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