I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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