I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
