your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
