This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
