I'm going to jail i love you
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
