So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
