PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
