Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
