I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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