ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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