I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
