So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
