i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
