God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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