Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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