i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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