my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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