OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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