there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
