dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
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We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!