Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night