I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.