Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.