Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize