I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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