I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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