did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize