My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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