I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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