this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
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I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
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SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away