I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!