shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.