Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
