Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
