no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
