He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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