apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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