We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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