Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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