operation harelip BJ is a go
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
