he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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